My struggle to seek joy

I don’t know why, but this time of year has been hard for me in the last few years.  You’d think I’d be more prone to depression during winter – and in Chicago it was indeed harder to pull myself out of the dumps during winter.  But it was down in the dumps in Chicago, not depression.  I guess it’s because every year I’m reminded that yet another year has passed without so many things that I thought would be our lives by now.  No children, still living in central Alabama, still living in an apartment.  I start dreaming – where we will move next, what our children will look like and how we will raise them, how much it would cost to convert a small passenger bus into a mobile home.  Have I ever mentioned that my brain sometimes won’t stop running?  Usually at around 100 mph. Continue reading

Happy Birthday, SCL!!

It’s so hard to believe, but as of today, I’ve been blogging for four years!  Okay, well, my blog is four years old.  I really took about a year off from blogging all together.  But still.  I’ve been trying to figure out what I would do for my birthday post, especially since it’s also Monday and I had a Musical Monday post.  Finally I figured I’d take a look back at the last four years – where I was then and where I am now.  Yes, kind of like I did at New Years.  Shuddup. ;-P Continue reading

Day 6!

Today is day 6 and it’s easier than it was last time. I haven’t had a single cigarette – though there were a couple of times when we were helping Becca Thursday night and Friday that I really wanted one.  But I haven’t been irritable, I haven’t been jumping out of my skin, none of the things that made quitting last time so stressful. Continue reading

Getting back to basics

So, I know, dear readers, you’ve probably decided I’m never coming back.  And for that I am sorry.  But a realization occurred to me the other day.  I started this blog because I was striving to live a better, healthier life.  I was trying to be a better person – not better than anyone else, but better than I had been before.  And I fell into a hole.  I started smoking again.  And I felt guilty. Continue reading

Happy Belated Birthday to Me

Yep, that’s right, folks, yesterday was my 26th birthday!  Apparently I’m at the age where I’m supposed to deny and fight against getting older – and definitely not supposed to admit my age – but I figure when you grow up hearing about how your parents should have died before you were born because they did stupid stuff as kids, it makes you more appreciative of every year.  For me, it’s like winning, lol. Continue reading

100th Post! Happy Handfasting Anniversary!

So, I’m finally writing my 100th post.  WOW!  It’s awesome, and yet it shows how lax I’ve been over the last year that it’s taken me 14 months to get to post 100.  But I’m here and still going as strong as ever.  Now, I could have written this any time over the past several days, but I just couldn’t think of anything profound enough for my 100th post.  So, I figured a recap of the past year and a our plan for the next year.  Not exactly profound, but it was the best idea I could come up with and since I apparently completely spaced on writing about my blog’s one year anniversary (April 28th), now seems as good as then.  ^__^ Continue reading

Happy Memorial Day – and a one year anniversary

First let me say, to all our troops throughout the last 230 odd years – those who gave their all and those who gave it all – THANK YOU!  And, as importantly, to their spouses and families, thank you for sharing the men and women that make your families whole so they can keep our families safe.  To those soldiers in my own family and who I grew up with, I am so proud that I can say that I know you and love you – well, most of you, some of you I just like enough to claim.  ^__^ Continue reading

Another month down…

So, the hubs and I have been unofficially trying, aka “not trying” for the last several months after the late period/possible miscarriage because it hurt me pretty bad and we were running low on funds.  Well, now that the hubs has a job (and one that will transfer with us when we head out of here for colder winters) and we’re gonna start trying again. Continue reading