Scatterbrained lesson from the spirit

I feel so scattered today.  Part of that is the time of the month for me.  I’m on an emotional roller coaster at the moment that varies between crying over a YouTube video about self-sufficiency to nearly manic wanting to learn how to can.  Granted, it spawned an interesting conversation on both mine and my sister-in-law’s personal pages (no links, sorry guys), so it isn’t a total waste.  But crying over solar panels is a little embarrassing, I can’t lie. Continue reading


Pockets of Grief

I lived a fairly grief-free life after my 8th year, when my dad’s dad passed away. I understood the concept of grief, but it didn’t often affect me as I grew. And then I lost my great grandfather when I was 16. Continue reading

Things are better

So, I’m doing better.  I still have moments, and I will for a while, but I’m better.  I’m also feeling better about our situation financially.  We’ve paid this months rent, our debt with Chase is paid in full (though we hadn’t wanted it to be!), we’ve started payment to Windham for Josh’s student loan, so they won’t take it straight from his check (a huge relief), and we’re moving along nicely.  He’ll get paid again in two weeks, and we can pay on our other bills (including getting the internet turn on!!!  woot!). Continue reading

I said goodbye today

I saw my grandmother today.  What’s left of her.  They didn’t tell me until just before I approached the casket that she had lost all her hair in chemotherapy.  It was hard.  I’m terribly afraid, even still, that if I cry to hard, I won’t be able to stop.  At the graveside, Brother Cliff, a friend of my Momma’s family for many, many years, read her obituary, talking about her children and grandchildren, naming each in turn. Continue reading