Confession Time

As you may have noticed if you are on my personal Facebook page or you are following us on the blog page, you might have noticed my absence this past week, not just on the blog but on social networking entirely.  I even turned my phone off for several days and retreated within myself.  It was actually a pretty hard week for me, but not for the usual reasons in a woman my age.  I’m 29 years old, for the very first time, and next year I will be turning 30, not 29 again.  I’ve never been one for shorting myself of years because, by the Gods, I have earned every year like a gold star.  It’s not my age that is a problem for me, so my birthday is not a cause for eating chocolate and drink wine while listening to mopey music.  Though the eating chocolate and drinking wine and listening to music thing sounds like something I’ve done before, quite often, just for the joy of it. Continue reading

Why I don’t have a “real” job

As much as I love my Momma, she and I don’t always see eye to eye on how the world works.  Which is fine, because we love one another despite that fact.  Though she has never said it directly, she has not-so-subtly tried to push me into getting a “real” job pretty much as long as I’ve been out of work.  And there have been times over the last six years that I have tried finding a job.  But the fact of the matter is, I don’t know that I will ever actually rejoin the job force.  It would take something pretty drastic happening – none of which I’m going to give voice to, since what you put out into the universe is what you get back.  Needless to say, it probably won’t happen, whether we are ever able to have children or not.  And I won’t apologize for it, nor be ashamed of it anymore. Continue reading

Reveling in Joy

Here lately there have been so many things that have gotten my blood boiling.  The things that I feel passionately about, burn like a fire in my chest.  They have the ability to bring tears to my eyes – tears of joy or tears of impotent rage, and they have the ability to buoy my spirit or drop it low.  I can’t help this.  I can’t shut it off or turn it down.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  And here lately, I’ve gone both ways.  There have been so many victories for the LGBTQI community (I really hope that I got all the letters in there, because I support every single member of the community, every single person that identifies with the community) and I have been jubilant. Continue reading

Wow, what a week!

So, last week was killer!  I don’t think I got above 5 hours sleep at a time last week, and as I wake up today – the start of a new week – I almost feel as if I was sick last week.  Except for the fact that I had Bren and Nessa all week, which is way too much fun to call being sick!  But as Sir Joshimus was leaving for work this morning, it hit me pretty hard that I feel as if I have hardly seen him in forever.   Part of that was a busy weekend on top of last week.  We had the kids on Saturday and then had their birthday party (their birthdays are really close and their Mama, Cortney, had her family come in for a party) on Sunday. Continue reading

A new job, a new chance

So, yesterday I started a new job. Okay, it isn’t really new, just newly made a job.  I’ll be keeping my friends’ two fabulous kids on a full-time basis while their moms work.  The new part, other than the near daily hours, is that it’ll pay.  Truth to tell, I’d keep these two kids without pay – I love them as much as I love their moms and count myself lucky to be among the people allowed to be their family.  But the extra $300 a month will go a LONG way to getting our bills paid off.  We should be able to pay the scooter off as early as Feb!  Can you even fathom?  I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it, and I’ve been busting ass to figure out how to get it paid off as soon as possible anyway. Continue reading

Crossroads – joy, sorrow, spirituality, and scooters

Here lately, I’ve felt like I was in flux.  I spend a lot of my time focusing on “one day” – not just in a daydream sort of way, but because it’s my responsibility to plan for one day in our family of two.  Though there is and likely always will be a small measure of daydreaming to that.  Dreaming of our perfect home – ridiculous amounts of land, a small homestead, pets and livestock.  And children.  And I’m stuck on children again right now because of the birth of my newest niece – my baby brother’s first child.  I can’t even begin to explain what it’s like knowing that precious little miracle has entered the world.  Nor can I put into words how much I’m looking forward to the first time I get to hold her, touch her precious face.  July!!  Can’t come soon enough.  Continue reading

Spiritual Saturday

Samhain was this past Wednesday and it was a lovely evening.  We cooked and set aside a plate for our ancestors and we feasted.  We drank a little more than we normally do (which isn’t saying a lot, we don’t drink much) and it was a festive mood, even if it was only the two of us.  We talked about family who have passed, telling stories and laughing.  It was nice. Continue reading