Sir Joshimus Rex is at work this evening for the first time in nearly a week. The hardest part about having him all to myself for any stretch of time is making ourselves interact with other people and today. Because now he’s back at work and I’m at home without him. I know that work is important to pay our bills and all of that, but it’s hard to remember when I have to say goodbye to him again.
And the timing of this happens as my Facebook feed is filled with the #HappyMarriageChallenge and friends sharing their pictures with their significant others. By the way – even though I haven’t participated – I support and love any excuse for people to share how happy they are with their significant other. But then, as with all things, there have been dissenters. Those who don’t want to participate because it creates a “false ideal of what marriage is.”
As someone who is married to her best friend, this idea appalls me. I could, quite easily, share images of the happiness that I’ve shared with Sir Joshimus any day. I’m not very good at being in pictures – a long time issue built on the foundation of my long destroyed self-image hat I’m attempting to rebuild – so actually finding pictures for everything is nearly impossible. But I can easily sort through the pictures I do have of the two of us and find truly happy pictures. Because being with him makes me happy. Even when I quietly want to strangle him – something that happens maybe once a year.
When did it become cool to be unhappily married? When did it become a badge of “true adulthood” to struggle within your marriage? I won’t lie, we struggled a bit in our relationship in the first two years of our marriage. We each had different things to deal with and balance – and we were wholly unprepared for things to change when we went from living together to being married. But in more than ten years of being together there have been less than two where we had struggles in our relationship.
Because life is full of struggles; that is the nature of the beast. But those struggles don’t have to impact your relationship, don’t have to be representative of your relationship. Joyful pictures aren’t pretty lies – not for all couples, anyway. Even when life is imploding all around you, it is completely possible to be happy because you aren’t having to face it alone. Because you have someone standing beside you through it all. Because you two can look at one another and say “it’s okay, we’ll rebuild.”
So here’s a shot of our happy marriage. That man right there is my best friend. He makes me happy every time I look at him. We are working together to build the future that we want on the foundation of a relationship that is maintained with dedication and joy. I can face anything life throws at me so long as he is by my side.
Today, I hope you are loved. If you are single and searching, I hope you find your best friend some day. If you are single and happy that way, then hold onto that until you find someone worth putting that happiness aside for. And if you are married, then I hope you have a happy marriage. Share pictures of your joy and don’t let anyone’s ideals color the way you look at those pictures!