Pushing forward when life pushes you back

Over the last four years – though some would say as many as six – every time we’ve been on the verge of moving forward, we’ve been pushed back.  What was hopefully only going to be a couple of years has turned into five.  And now, that we are on the brink of leaving once more, it’s turned into six.  And for a few days, it was like a brick through a glass wall – I crumbled.I don’t look at the world through rose-colored glasses – though sometimes I wish I could.  I do not live on a self-delusion, despite my usually positive outlook on life.  It is a decision that I make every day that we will achieve our goals through work and sheer, stubborn determination.  Which means that sometimes it hits me and I find it hard to hold that utter surety.  It got worse when I went to someone for a lift and instead got…well, her version of “harsh reality”.

This is the point where I remind everyone that I have an older sister and while she and I haven’t always seen eye to eye – and still don’t on any number of issues – she’s been one of my biggest cheerleaders for years.  So when we were talking the other day I told her that Sir Joshimus and I would be here another year and I got my first boost since this news hit me.  She was understanding of why I was upset, but she was genuinely happy that even though our plans had been put on hold, at least she would be able to see us regularly for a while longer.

And you know what?  That small thing, based in what most would see as pure selfishness, was exactly what I needed.  Someone to look at this situation and see the brightness for me until I could see it for myself.  Because sometimes I need that.  And Sir Joshimus, for being my biggest supporter for the last ten years, was unable to do that for me because this affected him too directly, too.

And you know what?  Less than a week later, we got great news.  Sir Joshimus is getting a raise next month – which we’ve known about since the first of the year – but rather than the just under a dollar we were hoping for, he’s getting nearly TWO.  A $2 raise from Walmart?!  Yes.  This will put us even further ahead of by the time we finally do leave.  So even though it has been a hit that we won’t finally be out of here soon, the raise, with what we’re paying here for rent, we’ll have a more than comfortable cushion when we move.  And we might just have enough to get our truck here – and soon.

So life has pushed hard against us, knocking us back down again.  But with the fierce stubbornness inborn in each of us, we’ll pull ourselves back up.  And we will get to North Carolina.  Those mountains call us and our hearts respond.  By the Gods we walk with, we will get there.  This is what our optimism looks like.  This is the work that goes into our positive outlook.  We are just blessed that for every struggle we have to face, we have support and strength and opportunities to overcome those struggles.

I hope that for every obstacle that is put in your path, you have the ability to overcome it.  And if you cannot, I hope that hands come from all around you to lift you over it.


BB Lea Sig Purp


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