Surreal Feelings

I woke up at 4:30 this morning.  No, that’s not a bad thing.  For once.  You see, Sir Joshimus has to be at work at 7 am, which means he has to be up at 6.  And somehow, I woke up at 4:30, refreshed and ready for the morning.  So, I lay in bed, fiddling with my phone and continuing to rest, until 6 when he got up.  We got up, came downstairs, and spent a half hour together while he got everything around before heading into work.  He left, I did some yoga, and then I did some internet and Facebook searching.  But it felt so surreal.  Let me try to explain.

When we lived in Hattiesburg, we were up every morning and to work by 8 am.  Five days a week.  That was what it meant to be an adult, at least the way I’d been taught it to be.  You went to work Monday through Friday, 8am to 5pm.  You might work more than that, but around those same hours.  That was how adults behaved, period.  And then we moved to Chicago, and Josh started working crazy hours – mornings in the summer, nights in the winter, and variegating off days.  And then we moved to Alabama, and he started working at Walmart, and it only got worse.  The closest he managed to having a normalized schedule was volunteering to work the closing shift (called closing because it was the closing of the day schedule and the opening of the night schedule).  Still, his off days fell willy ned throughout the week and his working days were still interspersed with opening and morning shifts.  So our schedules have been completely mental.

But now, we live a schedule where he has to work 7am-4pm every day, except a few days a month where he’ll have to go in early, and where he is off every weekend.  Every.  Weekend.  And you know what?  I feel like a proper adult again for the first time in six years.  Do you know how surreal it is for my husband to be 30 and me about to be 29 and for me to finally feel like we’re adults again?  And do you know how good it feels to look at the next six months or more and know what my husband’s schedule is going to be (other than our vacation in July)?  If you’ve lived on an insane schedule, then you probably do, and I don’t need to explain it any more to you.  If you haven’t, I don’t know if I can put into words just the difference it can make when your day follows the progression of the sun across the sky and you get the opportunity to move with the flow of the world around you.  Trust me – I’ve been trying to find the right words for it since 7 am as I sat listening to my favorite radio station (102.5 The Bull out of Birmingham) and just enjoying the cool, quiet of the morning.

And do you know we’ve been in bed before 11pm for the last few nights?!  I was asleep before midnight!  I remember all the times I’ve chuckled to myself, affectionately amused, about the fact that my Momma is asleep by 9pm every night.  Now?  I imagine I’ll rather look like my Momma tonight after dinner as I begin to doze on the couch before we head up to bed – hopefully before 10 tonight!  And you know what?  I like it.  I can’t say it’ll stay like this always.  But I can hope that it establishes a pattern that I can hold to.  Because I know that getting up by 8 am leads me to feeling my best during the day.  Always has, when I could do it.  It was just usually my luck that I would have one of those great early mornings the same day that Joshimus Rex began a week of 2-11pm shifts.

So, I hope all of you are enjoying your mornings as much as I am (especially if you’re lucky enough to have such lovely cool mornings as we do!), and if you don’t have those mornings, then know that my heart goes out to you if you don’t like it.  If you do enjoy night/evening work and are getting to do it, then enjoy the hell out of it!  There’s not a damn thing wrong with it, it’s just not something I want and I’m now lucky enough not to be held to that schedule anymore – hopefully ever again.  And now?  Well, I’m going to pull some chicken out of the freezer for dinner and wait another three-ish hours for my Joshimus to get off work.  And maybe after dinner, I’ll talk him into taking me for a ride, since we have such a fine, long summer evening to enjoy.


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