Advice to long ago

As I lay in bed early this morning after Joshwa left for work (6am is early, unless I’m having a freaky sleep week – and I’m not), I was reading my Facebook feed.  Now, my Facebook feed is full of things that matter to me – lactivism, intactivism, and natural birth; Pagans and Witches and Buddha; and family, humor, and friends.  And at some point this morning, I read something that stuck out to me.

What advice would you give your younger self?

What advice would I give her?  Love yourself more.  But then, that’s a little too vague, isn’t it?  Tell your parents to invest in Google.  Okay, that one’s a little silly, but true.

In all honesty, the advice came to mind the moment I read it.  Tell her.  I would tell my younger self today to tell Momma that I was a Pagan.  I know that may seem strange, with all the stories we’ve heard about teenagers – being shamed and having to hide their studies at best, or being kicked out of their homes at worst.  But I’ve spent quite a bit of time over the last year stressing about having the religion discussion with my Momma.  And it’s a discussion that I am getting more stressed about as my Momma is seeming to develop stronger religious convictions (as strong as can be imagined in a woman who never attends church) lately.

I know my Momma – at least the Momma that I lived with as a teenager.  She would have likely tried to dissuade me, I know; but she would have accepted it – even if only as “it’s a phase”.  And as I grew and didn’t grow out of the phase, she would have gradually accepted it.  In fact, the reason I didn’t have the talk with my Momma at the time had nothing to do with my Momma; I was afraid of what my Daddy would do – granted, I was just plain afraid of my Daddy at that point in my life.  But it seems the longer it goes on, the more it has become some “big secret” – thus adding the simple stress of no longer holding the secret – as well as Momma’s recent surge in religious leaning.

Surprisingly, I wouldn’t give myself any advice on doing things differently when it comes to boys  – I can honestly say that I married my first love.  And I wouldn’t give myself advice on doing things different about the friends I kept – I learned lessons that are invaluable to my life.  I would tell myself to take that finance class that I passed on to take Biology my second year of college.  I would tell myself to hold off on those invasive procedures between 19 and 21 and pass on the Gardasil shot.  Oh, and love myself.  Did I mention that already?

Strangely it seems for people my age, I respect the girl that I was.  I won’t deny that I screwed up – it’s part of being a teen.  But every screw up I learned from.  And I wouldn’t trade those lessons, or where they led me when.  I believe that Joshwa and I would have met anyway, but I don’t know how much more jaded and difficult I’d have been by then.  By the way, I’d tell teenage me that it’s okay to be jaded – it served me well and kept me from being used by people who set out to do no more than that.

So tell me, what would you tell your younger self?

 

Advertisements

Please, let me know what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s